Is there anything wrong with piracy?

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You know you've done it before. No, not joining Blackbeard to plunder a merchant ship laden with spices and silk. I mean you've bought that dodgy looking Donnie McClurkin CD on the road, ripped your friend's entire music collection of 2000 CDs to your 250G harddrive, bought Halo 3 at Oba Elegushi market, seen a 16 in 1 DVD collection featuring all Will Smith's movies in one place or bought a 30 in 1 collection of software. What do all these things have in common? They're illegal! Before you hiss consider the rest of this post.

What exactly is piracy? Well in a nutshell it's taking someone else's music, software, video game, and infact any form of Intellectual Property and redistributing it without compensation for the author. It's also known as copyright infringement. Wikipedia defines it as "the unauthorized use of material that is covered by copyright law, in a manner that violates one of the original copyright owner's exclusive rights, such as the right to reproduce or perform the copyrighted work, or to make derivative works." I call it stealing. Why would piracy be stealing? If I left a car in front of your house with the keys in it, would you take it and consider it yours? Or would you break into a computer shop and steal a laptop? Or arrange with your mates to jack a few cars on Falomo? Or send out s few 419 letters hoping that one mugu will respond and give you $30k for doing nothing. These things are all illegal and so is piracy. The relevant law in Nigeria is the Copyright Act amended by the Copyright (Amendment) Decree No 98 of 1992 and the Copyright (Amendment) Decree No 42 of 1999. The dodgy guys doing the copying and the people buying the stuff are all guilty of the same offence.

From the days of Video Mart and other video clubs in Lagos, people have always had the chance to see movies at least one week before they're officially released. We used to call them cinema releases. You know, grainy videos with background laughter, tilted camera angle (people wonder why I bend sometimes, maybe it's from twisting my neck while watching pirated movies), and of course someone walking across the screen as soon as the movie is over. In those days we gained bragging rights having seen blockbusters as soon as they're released. These days the Internet has completely changed the game. We all know what happened with file sharing networks like Napster, Kazaa, Bittorrent, sharebear etc. The US Government started going after individuals for downloading and exchanging MP3s. Well I used to do it regularly till I knew better. I had a 10G music collection mostly copied from friends' and colleagues' computers. Yes oh! But as I try to become a better person by the Grace of God, I can't continue to do things that I know are wrong.

Why should the Government give people copyright protection? Artistes make money by creating something, recording this something in a transmittable format and selling the work contained in the medium. So the artiste thinks he is going to make a livelihood by selling one million albums but he can only sell 10,000. The remaining 990,000 people who want to enjoy his music have put the money into another person's hands rather than the original owner. Imagine yourself slaving at work everyday and someone you don't know steals 90% of your salary and gives it to other people to enjoy without your knowledge and control. You scream and complain but they just refuse to budge. "We'll continue stealing your salary and there's nothing you can do about it". These works are the salary of the artistes concerned. I don't have any data to support the percentage of pirated works in Nigeria but I'm sure it's at least 90%. Just go to Computer Village or Oba Elegushi market and you'll know what I'm talking about.

Buying pirated CDs, books, DVDs, video games etc is piracy. So is copying these things. Harsh as it may sound it's illegal and punishable under the law. Hey, it's also a sin! But this is just my opinion and of course the law.

What should I do with all the pirated stuff I own? What should you do?

Where can I find a good carpenter..

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...or a plumber, electrician, tailor, welder or whatever artisan I need to get work done. This is one of the most agonising things about Nigeria these days. I remember trying to fix a curtain pole and the carpenter down my street started to hammer one side into the wall. Before I could inspect what he had done he almost started fixing the other side. All this without a single tape rule! By the time he was done one side was lower than the other. I mean, what can be so difficult about fixing a curtain pole. Baba whatever he was called had no idea why I should be fretting so much. After all it was almost straight.

The same thing happened when I tried to do a mosquito net for the front door. So I'm thinking, a wooden frame knocked together with wire mesh should keep the blood suckers out. So I asked my wife to get a carpenter from down the road. Nine hours later, the Frankenstein's monster he put together was already falling apart. The guy was sweating so profusely and commending himself for a job well done. The thing lasted a few weeks before we had to take it down.

The same thing must have happened with other artisans in the past. What about the guy that did the plumbing for the house I moved into about a year ago. The shower in my bedroom has never ever worked. Why would the plumber fix a shower that doesn't work, get paid and then tell the owner of the house that the job is done. What about the electrician? It is only the Grace of God that has prevented my house from barbecuing to a crisp. I've had dealings with just about every type of artisan and they are all the same.

I could go on and on about my experiences with artisans in this country as I'm sure most people have. My point is that there are no standards for artisans in this country. Anybody can get up and set up a shop and do whatever trade they so please. A guy my sister introduced to me to make curtains has been holding on to the last leg of the job for two months. I called him and asked him how far he had gone and he told me he was in Ibadan doing some plumbing work. Did I hear right? A tailor was dabbling into plumbing! He proudly told me that he is also a builder, foreman and every known artisan rolled into one. Of course he still hasn't delivered.

The UK has the NVQs (National Vocational Qualifications) for artisans and other technical professions while vocational education in the US is typically offered through community colleges. The system isn't perfect but it ensures people are sure of what they're getting when they hire an artisan. What do we have in Nigeria? A centuries old apprenticeship system that doesn't work anymore. Nobody wants to spend 5 to 10 years as an apprentice and not get paid for it. The period of apprenticeship has gotten so short that not enough skills are passed on to make a meaningful impact

So how do we ensure that the quality of artisans improves?

1. By setting up proper training institutes for different professions


2. Developing standards for workmanship, materials and professional conduct


3. Certifying artisans depending on the level of skill and experience


4. Regular auditing and assessment of artisans to ensure consistency


5. Continuing professional development


6. Setting up a consumer complaints commission and ensuring compensation for defective work done by artisans

Maybe then I can stop my heart palpitations every time I hire a carpenter.

Five Things - I miss from my childhood

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1. 
   
2. Remember the days of innocence when you thought you could fly to the moon. Your first time at the beach. For some reason today I remembered my younger days. I've attempted to compile a random list of five things I remember with nostalgia.
   
   
   
3. 
   

1. Television: In the good old days before cable and DSTV, ignorance was bliss. I just loved NTA 2 Channel 5. From children's shows like Sesame Street, SuperTed, The Munch Bunch, Banana Split, Animal Crackers, Voltron and the other five team show (I've forgotten the name now) to British imports like Some Mother's do Ave em, Mind Your Language and of course American Sitcoms like the Jeffersons and Good times,; it was always a blast to come back home at 2pm and wait/play outside till TV started at 4 and closed at 10. Of course during school days, I had to sleep by 8. On Saturdays and Fridays I could stay up all night if I wanted to. The locally produced shows like the Adio family, Winds against my Soul, Cockrow at Dawn really made my day at night. Weekends were also fun with the Saturday Matinee on NTA 2. Sundays were soap opera days with some of the best locally produced shows especially from NTA Jos. And who can forget the lipsynched German shows from Transtel. My favourite movies were martial arts and Indian ones. Bruce Lee was so cool in Enter the Dragon. James Bond movies were always a pleasure to watch. I could go on and on. When I think about it now what we were watching were really old shows but we didn't know any better. But we still enjoyed TV. Now kids have so many other things to keep them occupied; the Internet, DSTV, Video Games etc. I miss the days of having little yet appreciating so much.



2. Playing outside/Games: I remember how much I used to want to play outside, inside, infact everywhere. Playing and fighting with my twin and cousin was a daily affair. I remember "Police and Thief", Mummy and Daddy, Ten Ten for the girls, football, table tennis, table soccer and Subuteo table football. I definitely remember the first time I ever played PacMan on an Amstrad Computer. Who would have thought that three dots on a screen could excite so much. By the time my Dad bought a Commodore 64 computer (so named because it had 64kilobytes of memory!) games had become more sophisticated. You now had more dots on the screen making for interesting game play. Toys? I remember my first action figure. I think it was one of the characters from the A-Team. Not quite sure which one. We could make toys from almost anything. Cans, tins, broomsticks. Do kids still make kites? All you needed was old newspapers, broomsticks and some eba. My first Raleigh bicycle which I used for years brought much pleasure. I better stop before I get teary eyed.



3. Asking questions: I used to be so curious about the world around me. Everything was a mystery. How does television work? When will I be as big as Daddy? Where do babies come from? Where does the tooth fairy come from? Who created God? My parents were always patient enough to answer my questions. Some questions remained a mystery for many years. I smile when I see things that used to baffle me. Some are still unanswered. Don't ask me which ones!



4. Going out: I always looked forward to going out. It didn't matter where. The Bar Beach was the in spot in those days. At least we Mainland kids got to see Victoria Island in all it's splendour. The beach used to be so lovely. And then of course I remember Apapa Club on Saturdays. Swimming, suya and sand! I also got to buy comics at the bookstore. If I remember well, they stocked DC and Marvel Comics, Beano, Dandy and some British war comics (those were my favourites really). Going out also meant parties! The richer kids always had better presents as we used to call them. I got to see how some of my Corona friends lived. Along with parties came music. Michael Jackson, The Gap Band, Shalamar, Cool and the Gang...we mimed to all the cool songs back then. If I had such a retentive memory for songs how come I forgot my times table?



5. Nigeria: Most of all I remember when things weren't so bad in Nigeria. A brand new 505 was 10,000, bread was 10k; a coke was less than 50k. My first trip to the UK in 1984 cost my Mum less than N500 for each of us. The ticket was expensive then but my Mum, God bless her heart just had to sacrifice for us. Things were so much easier then. NEPA wasn't great in the 70s and 80s but it was much better than now. Potholes were a rarity and everywhere was clean. At least from a child's perspective. I remember the two coups that brought in Buhari and Babangida. I was forced to grow up a bit and become a bit politically aware after these events. It was then that names like Umaru Dikko, Joseph Wayas, Olu Olunloyo, Awo and Zik became part of my consciousness. This coincided with my teenaage years and a time when things became a little bit rough for everyone. My folks still managed to keep us happy but even as a kid I knew things were not the same. I miss those days...

What do you miss most about being a kid. Go on, try to remember. For some people it feels like just yesterday, for some it's a distant memory. What stories will you tell your children when they begin to grow?

Why I have a problem with Yahooze

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Throughout last year, I heard the Yahooze song by Olu Maintain everywhere I went. Everybody was singing the song and doing the dance. I should have written about this a while ago but never got round to it. I came across a couple of websites that provide information about the "Nigerian Scam". A lot of these websites such as Nigeria, The 419 Coalition Website, Scambusters, Scamorama are devoted to exposing Nigerians as fraudsters. One of them even claims that the Nigerian government is on it and makes money from it since it's the 3rd largest industry in the country. Akin to Nevada and Casinos or Norway and fishing.

Nigeria has such a bad name that we've become like Italians and the Mafia. Not all Italians are mobsters/mafioso but just tell anyone you are from Sicily and they begin to shake in your presence. Which brings me to my problem with Yahooze.

Someone sings a song about scamming people out of their money and giving Nigeria a bad image and we all sing along? He goes on to glamorise the lifestyle of scam artists and we all throw fingers in the air. Come on! I've heard the argument that he doesn't condone it. He's only singing about it. I never heard a single line in the song where he talks about where 419ers end up, the damage done to victims and the bashing of Nigeria's image. He talks about it quite positively. And don't even get me started by telling me it's all satirical. If I sang a song about molesting young children would you say "he's just joking". Or if I sang a song about murdering the President, you don't think the Secret Service would knock on my door the following day? I don't care about the lyrics you say? It's still a nice song. Excerpts below from a song by So Solid Crew called 21 seconds. Note the lyrics in bold

"Some of dem are a slippin ah Some of dem begrudge me ah So Solid vampire See me on the telly ha Face gettin' popular, ha what? Some are chat ya nah No disrespect when I bus in my clique ya nah Raise up the dead an' ah Worship the devil Red is my best colour So Solid we are players, instigators Gimme a girl I'll make her famous I send her back to you she gettin' papers 21 seconds to get papers"

Here's a "good" song with a catchy beat that was popular a few years back. Would you sing a song about worshipping the devil?! Not surprised since we all sang "Why Me" by Dbanj. An excerpt of that song's lyrics are shown below

"i dont know how to say this but this girl drives me crazy cause i cruise in town with a mercedes so she said she wanna have my baby, first when i met her, she said koko master come test her, we could do it ones, twice maybe better, wanna test my skills so i let her, yes so i let her, so sexy so tempting, so pretty contemplating, how to get her love me now, make she get a taste of my heart, took her to my crib now, in my drop top, took her top off, body was a jump off, started on the floor now, to the bed now, hands on the wall, devil was the bomb now. she wouldnt leave me alone always calling my phone, feele ahh she no gree"


Singing about one night stands, promiscuity and now 419 seems to have become a national pastime. When your kids sing these songs what do you tell them?

Or maybe we all think 419 victims deserve their fate. After all, they're greedy people who should know better. If you've ever been harrassed at any airport for holding a green passport, or been asked a stupid question about Nigeria then you'll know that we all need to rid ourselves of this evil.

If a foreigner hears you listening to Yahooze and asks you what the song's about, what will you tell him? "Oh it's about scamming people out of money. You know we are all scammers in Nigeria. So much that Yahooze is now our national antherm". The foreigner asks, "so you think it's funny that people lose millions to these scammers?" What do you say? They deserve to be scammed?

We have enough problems with our image already so let's not promote things that further entrench the image of a fraudulent country.

Let's stop and think for a minute before we enjoy music just for the good tunes and beats.

PS: Just remembered this Youtube video I saw a while back of the EFCC busting some scammeers. Good to see something being done to address this scourge.

Energy drinks - marketing hype or real value?

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I have to admit that any time I see a can of Red Bull, something inside me wants to take a sip of this supposedly energy giving drink. Doesn't taste like much but there is something interesting about it. I've also tried Power Horse and Burn but that's as far as I've gone. In the last year or so, the market has been flooded with all sorts of energy drinks. The key feature of these drinks is that they promise increased energy, concentration and other medically unverifiable attributes. Another common factor is that they contain large amounts of caffeine, guarana (extracts from the guarana plant), taurine, various forms of ginseng, maltodextrin, inositol, carnitine, creatine, glucuronolactone and ginkgo biloba. Some of the energy drinks I can remember are:










Red Bull
Power Horse
911
Burn
Bomba
Boom Boom
Rhino
Rox
Commando bear
Effect

I was recently gifted over 100 cans of Red Bull leftover from a party. I drank four cans a day for some weeks. Can't say I felt any better from drinking the stuff. God knows what damage I've done to my body from drinking so much of the stuff.

I've officially sworn off Energy drinks till further notice!

I googled and found an Old CNN Article on energy drinks. If you're not sure then just stop drinking this stuff. NAFDAC is doing a great job but not much is known about the long term effects on the body of these drinks. We also don't know the effects of mixing them with othere things. Hope we don't grow extra ears and noses after some years!

Considering the N250 price tag versus N50 for a coke, am I paying more money to damage my health? For that amount of money I had better run faster and possibly fly. Trying to appear cool and hip maybe?

So can someone please tell me what value these drinks really have?