Where can I find a good carpenter..

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...or a plumber, electrician, tailor, welder or whatever artisan I need to get work done. This is one of the most agonising things about Nigeria these days. I remember trying to fix a curtain pole and the carpenter down my street started to hammer one side into the wall. Before I could inspect what he had done he almost started fixing the other side. All this without a single tape rule! By the time he was done one side was lower than the other. I mean, what can be so difficult about fixing a curtain pole. Baba whatever he was called had no idea why I should be fretting so much. After all it was almost straight.

The same thing happened when I tried to do a mosquito net for the front door. So I'm thinking, a wooden frame knocked together with wire mesh should keep the blood suckers out. So I asked my wife to get a carpenter from down the road. Nine hours later, the Frankenstein's monster he put together was already falling apart. The guy was sweating so profusely and commending himself for a job well done. The thing lasted a few weeks before we had to take it down.

The same thing must have happened with other artisans in the past. What about the guy that did the plumbing for the house I moved into about a year ago. The shower in my bedroom has never ever worked. Why would the plumber fix a shower that doesn't work, get paid and then tell the owner of the house that the job is done. What about the electrician? It is only the Grace of God that has prevented my house from barbecuing to a crisp. I've had dealings with just about every type of artisan and they are all the same.

I could go on and on about my experiences with artisans in this country as I'm sure most people have. My point is that there are no standards for artisans in this country. Anybody can get up and set up a shop and do whatever trade they so please. A guy my sister introduced to me to make curtains has been holding on to the last leg of the job for two months. I called him and asked him how far he had gone and he told me he was in Ibadan doing some plumbing work. Did I hear right? A tailor was dabbling into plumbing! He proudly told me that he is also a builder, foreman and every known artisan rolled into one. Of course he still hasn't delivered.

The UK has the NVQs (National Vocational Qualifications) for artisans and other technical professions while vocational education in the US is typically offered through community colleges. The system isn't perfect but it ensures people are sure of what they're getting when they hire an artisan. What do we have in Nigeria? A centuries old apprenticeship system that doesn't work anymore. Nobody wants to spend 5 to 10 years as an apprentice and not get paid for it. The period of apprenticeship has gotten so short that not enough skills are passed on to make a meaningful impact

So how do we ensure that the quality of artisans improves?

1. By setting up proper training institutes for different professions


2. Developing standards for workmanship, materials and professional conduct


3. Certifying artisans depending on the level of skill and experience


4. Regular auditing and assessment of artisans to ensure consistency


5. Continuing professional development


6. Setting up a consumer complaints commission and ensuring compensation for defective work done by artisans

Maybe then I can stop my heart palpitations every time I hire a carpenter.

House slaves and field slaves

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In the days of slavery, dark complexioned slaves were put to work on cotton farms while light skinned slaves were handpicked to work in the "Massa's" house. Sometimes the females were made unofficial concubines to the Master of the house. House slaves enjoyed privileges field slaves did not enjoy such as better living quarters, food, clothing and sometimes education. Field slaves on the other hand had poorer living conditions and were hard worn for all the arduous labour on the field. So if you were an African slave in the Americas at that time, you would have longed for the day when the Master would call you into the house to serve as a house slave. As nice as it would have seemed to become a house slave at the end of the day, a house slave was still considered as much a slave as a field slave.

Why am I writing about slavery? I see an analogy between slavery and employment. Most employee are slaves as long as they remain in employment. You have little or no control over your time and resources. You are paid whatever the Master wants you to earn (the Master in this case being your employer). You are also subject to other masters like the Government, Tax authorities and other bodies that have a claim on your salary whether you like it or not. You temporarily surrender your vision and time to your employer and adopt your employer's vision and time.

Employees that work in good paying jobs such as Oil and Gas, Banking and Telecoms may be considered house slaves as they are better paid while most civil servants may be considered as house slaves. A lot of people dream of working in Oil and Gas companies with the hope of a brighter future. All you are doing is moving from the field to the house albeit still as a slave. You could also argue that senior and executive management staff are house slaves while junior personnel are field slaves. But at the end of the day, they are all slaves.

I know this line of thought seems extreme but it's closer to the truth than you think. An employer can summarily dismiss you without any explanation even after serving for 20 years. That isn't freedom. That's slavery. So what's the alternative to this form of modern day slavery?

Self-employment. The Forbes list of the world's richest men doesn't have any employees because you can never be richer than your employer. Take a look at your CEO today... go on take a look because that's as rich as you will ever be doing that same job. So am I saying, quit your job and start your own business right away? No, but we all need to think about it at some time or the other and have a plan for doing this.

As for me, the countdown has begun.