The title of this post may seem strange to people that know me quite well. I'm not one to generalise about groups of people. A more appropriate title would have had most or some in the title. It's no more appropriate than "why are all Nigerians criminals"?, "why are all Americans ignoramuses"?, or "why are all Australians knife-wielding, crocodile hunters"? But I couldn't resist the urge for a little bit of sensationalism and attention grabbing! So on with the post. This topic is borne out of my personal experience over a few years of marriage and of course my interaction with people. Just today, someone asked me if a "babe" was trying to seduce me. Another colleague keeps trying to become my infidelity buddy. Of course I rebuke the two of them in a non-threatening way. These men can't fathom the fact that there are people who just don't do these things. After a trip to Brazil two years ago, someone asked me what I got up to while I was there. I avoid these types of people like a plague of course.
When I was growing up I was quite naive and believed that men are naturally faithful to their wives. I recollect a conversation with two very close relatives of mine when I was just 19. I told them would never cheat on my wife. One of them said he doesn't plan to as well but as a man, these things happen. The second one said he will definitely do it. After all body no be wood. Don't ask me if they have been true to their promises.
Quite a few Nigerian men, even those who have some strong religious profession or the other do it. More than you can even imagine. It's sometimes "accidental" but most often premeditated. And once it has happened, it becomes difficult to stop.
The problem is not helped by Nigerian women who have been conditioned to believe that their husbands will cheat on them no matter what they do. They have bought the lie that it's okay as long as he provides for the children, comes home regularly and doesn't flaunt his extra-marital affairs in her face. The truth is that most of them know about their husband's philandering ways before marriage but assume they can change after marriage. Some of them are so tired of people asking when the big day is going to happen they settle for the worst guy in town. I have even heard that women too now do it. Some of them do it in retaliation for their husband's cheating ways and possibly to get more excitement into their marriage.
As a Christian, the major reason I won't do it is not because I love my wife to bits, but because I fear God!
So I ask, if you have ever cheated on your wife or husband, please tell me why you did it. I'd really like to know.
And if you know anybody that has, do you know why they did it?
If you have never done it and don't want to ever do it, how have you managed to stay faithful?
If you have done it in the past and repented, should you tell your spouse?
Any opinions on why people cheat?
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